My grandfather died this morning, and I don't know how I feel yet. Dwaine married my dad's mom about ten years ago and was a great guy. He has had major health problems recently and everyone knew it was just a matter of time before the Lord called him home. My mom called this afternoon and said that Dwaine had died and grandma was pretty upset (understandably). For me though, i've been so disconnected with the whole process that my brain and my emotions have not seemed to connect. I know that he has gone to Heaven, that he's not suffering anymore, and that I did care about him, but so far at least, I don't feel either sad or relieved. We'll see what tomorrow is like. That's the way it was when Nick died last year. I was in Mexico, and didn't hear about it until a day or two after his car wreck. I couldn't get back for any of the ceremonies, and now I can't fly back to Oregon until Thursday at the earliest (if I had the extra six hundred bucks to drop on a last minute trip). Last year, it didn't affect me at all when I first got the email, and it wasn't until the next day that I reacted, and even then it was only for a couple of hours. I'll try to write more tomorrow. I wonder how many times we'll have to go through this living in the field?